I was okay, for a while. I wasn’t happy, but I was okay. I was numb, and that was what I wanted. I was still lonely, but it didn’t hurt because I didn’t think about it.
Then he came along, and made me have feelings.
You can’t just do that to a person. You can’t just rip someone out of their zone of comfortably numb, then say “Oops, my bad. I actually didn’t mean any of that.” and expect that person to be okay.
I want the numbness back. I want it so bad. I want to be ice inside with a mask over top.
If I can’t feel, I can’t hurt.